Welcome back to the Oxendine Law podcast. Jared Oxendine, Christine Palmer. Today we are talking about divorce and your new lease on your financial lifestyle and reality, which frankly can and should be an exciting thing. So we're going to cover this from a couple of different angles. We're going to cover it from the angle of the person that did not have access to any money during the marriage and now they've got access to their share of the money and we're going to cover it from the angle of the person that may have been the primary breadwinner and was struggling to keep up with all the bills because they had a spendthrift spouse, which also can be a new lease on life. So let's talk about that. A lot of people that we represent, Christine, how many people have you had sit across from the table and they have no idea what they've got? Yeah. I don't know how much we have in retirement. I don't know how much we have in savings or investments. I don't even know how much is owed on the house or if we owe anything at all. So that's exciting for that person, if you are that person, because you go from having zero access and control over your financial circumstances to all of a sudden having complete and total control to your share of those financial assets, which is really exciting. It is. For that person, for one moment it may seem overwhelming, but that's just because we all fear the sort of unknown. Um you'll find very quickly that it is empowering and that it is exciting. And you know, while I am a huge proponent of marriage, I'm going to make this statement. No one has full financial freedom unless you're single and live alone or not, you know, single and the only one responsible. That is the only true financial freedom you ever get. When you're married, as long as you're married, no matter how on the same page you are, you are still either obligated to someone else or funding someone else in some way or another. So for the first time post-divorce, many people are experiencing financial freedom for the very first time and that's exciting. You're the finally in charge of everything, of your entire destiny, of everything that exists in your financial world that you are in charge of it. You're responsible for it. You don't have to ask anyone permission. You don't have to run anything by anybody. Like you're completely in charge. And so that should be an exciting next step for you. But at the same time, exciting, but you have to be responsible. So if you're that person, you're probably not used to the budget. Not used to paying the bills. You don't really even know, perhaps, how much money you need every month to pay your expenses. So when you get that, we're going to call it windfall. I don't really like using that word because it was always your money to begin with. You just never had access to it. But all of a sudden, you go from not having any financial responsibilities, not paying any bills, not operating on a budget, to all of a sudden getting access to a lot of assets, a lot of cash, a lot of retirement. You want to be smart how you use that money and how you spend that money. In other words, don't go out and just blow it all on one single purchase. That may be a dumb mistake. Set a budget. I highly recommend if you're the person that just didn't have a clue on the finances, didn't manage a budget, didn't do investments, or don't know how they operate, hire a financial planner. Hire a financial advisor. And we can certainly recommend somebody to you that can help you set a budget. They can make sure that you invest your money wisely, properly, put it into investment vehicles that will actually grow over time as opposed to you making one single purchase where you now you may be asset rich but cash poor. And that way you can have a budget. You've got access to what you need to to spend what you need on a monthly basis. And the remainder of your cash is in an investment vehicle that can grow for you and produce additional income and additional assets over time. So that's the person that all of a sudden gets access to money that they'd never had before. What about the flip side of the coin? Christine, again, I'll ask you, how many times have you had the client that just can't keep up with their spouse's spending. And they make good money. They've got good money coming in, but they're they've got tons of credit card debt, and every time they turn around, it seems like the credit card debt is going up instead of down, and it's because their spouse is out buying this and that, probably cuz they have either have no clue about what a budget looks like, or they don't care. Right. And I've also had the client who, this is stereotypical, right? But they make all the money, then the other person stays home and sort of in charge of spending. Sometimes the money maker really believes that, "Wow, it takes us $10,000 to $11,000 a month to run our household." And then financial freedom, when that person is out of the gate, you can look at, "My goodness, hold on. When I go down to doing the math, we should have been spending about 6,500 a month, not a 10 to 11." Um the things that we were told were necessary, or that you were told had to happen, um sometimes don't have to happen. So, a lot of times that person actually gets a raise by dropping the spender in the relationship. Get a raise, and frankly, if you are the high-income earner, you can very quickly replace the assets that you had to give your spouse. In other words, let's say you had to divide a savings account, or divide an investment account, or divide a retirement account. That's okay for a couple reasons. Number one, you can quickly replace that, all right? Number two, you're not going to need as much money in retirement to be able to pay your expenses because you're not taking on the burden of all this extra expense that the other person was running up. So, not only do you potentially need less in retirement, you can also very quickly replace what you divided with your spouse because you are the higher-income earner, and you can control every single dime and every single penny, and you can invest it and save it the way you want to save it. >> That's right. >> Which is also exciting. So, hopefully you all enjoyed that. We took it from two different angles. Don't think that just cuz you're going through the divorce process is a gloom and doom because you're going to have to divide assets. You actually may be getting, as Kristin said, a raise, and if you're not that person, you may be getting access to money that you never even knew you had. Just make sure you invest it wisely. Thanks for joining us today. 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