Welcome back to the Oxen Dine Law podcast. Today we're going to talk about something that gets talked about often and that is child support. But we're not going to talk about how it's calculated. We're not going to talk about the things that go into determining the child support award. We're going to assume that you already have a child support obligation in place. And we're going to talk about some important things that you need to know if you are the payor, which means you're the person paying the child support. and also some important things that you need to know if you are the payee which is a person receiving the child support. So the first thing that I want everybody to understand is that child support is a court order and it is the order and the only order that controls in your case unless or until it's changed. And what do I mean by that? I see lots of circumstances where I'll give you one example. Child supports calculator for two children. All right? And then your oldest graduates. And so let's say your obligation is a thousand dollars per month. And so you decide, all right, Johnny graduated. I only have Sally left. So it's not fair that I keep paying the thousand because that was for two children. I'm just going to pay half of that. I'm going start paying 500 per month. And maybe your ex says, "Sounds great. >> Yeah, I don't want to go back to court either." Yeah, >> sure. I'll take 500. Yeah, >> just give me 500. You think life is great. You're paying 500. All of a sudden, y'all get into an argument. She consults with an attorney and says that attorney looked at the paperwork and says, "Wait, wait, wait a second. He's paying you how much per month?" $500. Well, your order says he's supposed to be paying $1,000 per month. Well, I know, but we had a child that graduated. Did you get a modification? No. That's still the order. Well, guess what? He still owes you that $500. >> Yes. And he owes every dollar of the back pay. He owes you $500 per month for every month he paid you only $500. So just because your ex says that's fine, number one, the lesson here is you can't unilaterally modify your child support obligation. Number two, even if the other side says it's okay, you still technically owe the money. So in the scenario I just gave you, she hires attorney, they file for contempt, and you're on the hook for the difference of that $500 for all the number of months that you've been underpaying it. >> So to avoid that, what you want to do is make sure that you file for modification. If you ever have a change in circumstances, either because you have a child that ages out or maybe you've got a change in your income or whatever the circumstances are, don't assume that just because you worked out an agreement with your spouse that it's going to be okay. It's not unless you get that put into a new court order. That's the only thing that can change your child's support obligation. Also have Christine situations where people pay extra. >> That's right. I had cases where uh recently actually there was a case where the parties got divorced a long time ago and uh the husband's obligation at that time was low because he wasn't making as much money as he makes now. And um fast forward 15 years later, the ex has been threatening to take him back to court because I think she knows that he makes more money now. >> And so he did a smart thing for years. he's actually been paying a little bit more than what he's required to, I guess, to keep her from filing for modification, but when I ran the numbers, the extra amount that he was paying still was a lot lower than what he would have to pay if he actually got a new court order. And so his question to me was, well, if my ex takes me back to court to modify the child support, and I end up having to pay this higher obligation, do I get credit for all the extra payments that I've been making all these years against my new obligation? And the answer, folks, to that is no. If you gratuitously pay, because that's what the law says about it. If you pay extra voluntarily, it's called a gratuitous payment and you don't get that payment back later on if you have a dispute or you need a new child support obligation. >> Yeah. I want to give a big cautionary tale. I consulted with a gentleman. This has been a couple years ago. And he and his wife did a prosay divorce. So no attorneys were involved and they thought they got creative. First of all, I cannot believe a judge signed this, but this is a true story. So what they agreed to was she would keep all the equity in the house. 100% of the equity in the house and it was fairly substantial in exchange for him not having to pay any child support ever is what the verbiage said. He'll never have to pay child support for the rest of the time. These children are minors. He has prepaid it by giving her all of the equity. Okay. Well, the problem becomes that equity payment is nonmodifiable. Nothing can be done about that. That's a done and over. Child support is always modifiable up until the children age out. So, we're three years down the road. She took him to court for child support and they put him, as he says, put him on child support. A child support order was issued. And he said, "But I don't understand. I already prepaid my child support by giving her all my equity in the house." And the court said, "No, you cannot prepay child support." That is clear in the law as well. There is no such thing as prepaid child support. Anything that you give above and beyond your monthly obligation is a gift. So if you think you're going to get smart and on January 1, okay, I owe 500 a month. I'm just going to pay it all for the year and she can go do whatever. You've just gifted her a year's worth of child support and February 1st, you still owe your child support obligation. Even if the memo line said child support for 2027 in full. >> Good point. True story. Also want folks to keep in mind that child support is completely separate from parenting time. We have these cases where I I can't believe people do this, but people actually do this. I had a case where the mom just decided that since dad was late on child support, he weren't going to get to see his kids. That doesn't justify you and withholding parenting time just because you're not receiving child support. Just want to throw that out there because it popped in my mind again. True story. Something that really happened. You wouldn't think stuff like that happens. We see oftentimes child support is is the money that you pay only. Now it can be electronic money. Zel fine. Cash app fine. Um regular check fine. Cash if you're doing that please get a receipt and make sure the other side signs it not you. They're signing the accepted cash. I don't recommend cash but understand in certain circumstances if it happens make sure every single time you get the receipt you're going to be able to prove that the cash was paid. That is your child support. Even if the co-parent says, "It's fine. I mean, there's no sense in you paying me child support and then I go to Sam's and I get diapers and I get wipes and I get formula. That makes no sense. You go get the diapers, wipes, and formula. Drop them off. That's your child support for the month." No, it is not. It doesn't matter if you kept the Sam's receipt. It doesn't matter if you have the text where she said it. It does not matter. Child support is owed in monetary amounts. Electronic payment fine. Check fine. Cash not fine, but acceptable. But you have to show that you paid the money. Giving goods in exchange does not cut it. If your child's sport is only $500 a month and this month Johnny's soccer travel team is going to do an event and that tournament is $900 and you pay that, you still owe $500 in child support. So you need to pay the 500 to mom, pay the 400 difference, whatever your obligations are. Um but no, just making an alternate payment in lie of that is not going to cut it. Judges are not going to sit and parse that out. It's not within the law to do that. You owe the money every single month. Goods, other payments. None of that satisfies your child support obligation. So, don't get yourself into trouble. It makes common sense, right? For any other circumstance, I could if I prior to started practicing family law, I probably would have told somebody, "Yeah, that makes perfect sense." But no, that's not what the law says. So, please hear me. Your child support is your child's support and you must pay it every month no matter what. No matter what other monies you've given. >> So tips and this goes for both parties both the payor and the pay. Know your order. Can't tell you how many people don't know what their order says as far as how much is due, when it's due, and what additional obligations you have. Keep in mind child support's not just a monthly payment of a of a monetary sum. Child support includes an obligation to cover health insurance. Child support can include an obligation to contribute towards workrelated child care. It can include an obligation to pay for out-of- pocket medicals. It can include an obligation to pay for extracurricular activity expenses. So, both sides need to know what their court order says. That's number one. Both sides need to keep payment records, receipts. All right? So, keep a record of the payments that you make. Keep a record of the payments that you receive. And goodness gracious, don't pay cash. Yeah. because and if you don't have proof that you paid that cash is way too easy for the other side to say, "I never got it." Where's your proof you paid it? You have no proof. Pay in a form that can be tracked and that you can have a receipt for. And the last thing I'll mention, and this is really more advice for the person paying child support. Uh and and I see this missed a lot. Keep in mind that if you have a child that's going to be aging out within two years of the date of your child support order, so you've got, let's say, a 16-year-old and a 14-year-old, that 16-year-old's graduating on time when they turn 18, which means within the next two years, you no longer owe child support for that child. Remember, the court has discretion to go ahead and calculate what child support would be for one child and automatically have that new child support amount take effect after that two-year period. Now, you can't do it if there's more than two years unless Now, sometimes the parties agree and sometimes judges sign off on it. I a good judge won't, right? But within two years, they have the discretion to do so. So, take advantage of that. If you're within two years of a child aging out, you should go ahead and calculate what your child support would be for one child because then when that event occurs, you automatically get to start paying the lesser amount. Otherwise, you've got to come back to court and you've got to file for modification to get that modified. Now, last thing we'll talk about on child support is briefly we'll talk about what if you can't pay. So, um, there are circumstances that we see from time to time where a child support modification is necessary because you have somebody that can no longer pay. But it's got to be a good reason, right? It's got to be that you have had a involuntary job loss, an involuntary just significant reduction in your pay, or some other major circumstance that that has occurred in your life that has materially changed your financial situation. And we've seen people that have been injured before obviously and all of a sudden they're on disability um and they can't afford what they used to pay. So anytime that happens um that gives you grounds to modify, but again you have to come in and modify. You can't just start paying the lower amount or stop paying and do nothing about it. Number one, those ages continue to acrew. Number two, you may you may be held in willful contempt. So make sure you immediately go to court and you file for the modification. And frankly, there's a provision in the law that says if your income loss is due to an involuntary loss of income, the judge actually can go back to the date of service in your case and your child support will not acrew from that date forward. So, let's say you get your case filed, you get the other side served and it's three or four months before you can go to court and get that new order that reduces the child support, the judge has the authority to retroactively apply that that new child support amount back to the date of service, which will save you some money. >> That's Okay. And if you do find yourself in that situation, obviously step one is seek immediate legal advice. Um, get advice from someone good. Step two is pay something. I can't tell you how many times I've heard someone say, "Well, my obligation is $1,200 a month. I can't pay that." Okay, how much did you pay? Well, nothing. I can't pay it. Okay, I guarantee you could have paid 20. Because I've had people on cross-examination before where I say, "Okay, you know, sounds good. Uh, what did you eat for lunch today? I'm sorry. Did you go to Panera?" you know, like you start making them look foolish that I could take myself out to eat. I mean, I've got, you know, check their social medias. I see where you did this, you did that. Um, you know what? Did you put gas in your car? Have you Ubered lately? I mean, all of these things that you can make them look foolish for saying, I don't have the money to pay my child support. I haven't paid anything. But you point out the things they are spending on. So, I understand if you cannot make your total payment, pay as much as you can and be able to show the court like I received this much this month. Over half of that went to my child support. I did still have to have a place for them to lay their heads when they visit me, but everything that wasn't obligated to rent and utilities went to my child support because it is temporary. the court is going to get to you and when they do they're going to be much more favorable of the fact that you prioritize your children and prioritize the child support amount instead of simply saying I can't pay it I need the court's help and making no contributions with offices in San Athens Oxendine Law is here to guide you every step along the way be sure to subscribe wherever you're listening we'll see you at the next