Welcome back to the Oxendine Law podcast. Imagine going to your spouse and saying, "You know what? Things are not working out. I think it's time for a divorce. I want a divorce." And your response is, "Screw you. I'm not signing anything." What we're going to cover today is what to do if your spouse refuses to cooperate with a divorce. In other words, does that prevent you from getting a divorce? And the answer is no, it does not. And unfortunately, Christine, we deal with this a lot, right? Where for whatever reason, the other party is not willing to cooperate with the divorce. It may be that they don't want the divorce. It may be, we frequently see this, that they just want to be difficult. They want to make the other person's life difficult and drag it out as long as possible. So, I think our our audience will love to know today what you can do to address those type of issues. Um and that would include refusing to discuss settlement, right? I mean, even after the divorce is filed, we got people that refuse to discuss settlement. They ignore letters that get sent out. They just kind of act like they never received it. Um you know, there's emotional resistance. Um but Christine, lack of an agreement does not prevent you from getting a divorce, does it? >> It certainly does not. If one party in Georgia wants to be divorced, you will be divorced, period. So, if you are the person who has maybe been hesitant, been difficult, or maybe not cooperating in your own divorce, um I highly encourage you to change your tune and to engage in the process because what happens is you just get left behind. It's not that you prevent anything. You slightly delay things, but you don't even greatly delay things because if you are not actively participating, the court will say you have essentially abandoned your opportunity to participate, so we will proceed with the divorce without your participation. And that's the last thing you want. >> So, let's say you're the person that wants the divorce and you're married to the spouse that just has their head stuck in the sand. First thing you got to do is get case filed, right? Cuz the longer you wait because you know, and we have people that just hope their spouse is going to change and come around or they're going to be able to work out an agreement with this spouse that just refuses to acknowledge a divorce, refuses to even discuss any potential settlement. They're not changing their mind. You're actually giving them what they want, which is more time and delay. So, the way you stop that, because in Georgia if you want a divorce, you get a divorce, but you got to start the process. So, the very moment you find out that person is just going to stick their head in the sand, the first and number one thing that you can do to ensure your divorce is to get it filed and get them served. Because once you file it and get them served, that triggers deadlines. >> Right. >> And once they are served, they have 30 days to file a response. Now, if they really are an idiot and they're just refusing to cooperate, this is the first way it could backfire on them. If after 45 days of them being served, they have not filed a response, it's called an answer, you can reach out to the court, you can request an uncontested final hearing. They might not even get notice of the hearing. >> Right. >> You show up, it's a one-sided hearing, you tell the judge what you want, and chances are the judge is going to grant you most if not everything that you ask for, and then your ex-spouse will in the mail or by service of your attorney or yourself get a copy of that divorce saying, "Hey, guess what? You're divorced, and here's the order, and this is what you're required to do." So, that's the first important step. >> Right. I mean, how many times, Jared, have you had a consultation with someone who comes in and they say, "I don't know what's going on. I'm so confused. I just got these papers. Like, I'm divorced." And you start looking through, "Okay, well, yeah, you know, you were served. Do you remember that?" "Well, they gave me some kind of papers. I didn't know what they were talking about. Um I didn't have I don't have money to hire an attorney." Okay, that doesn't matter. Not having money to hire an attorney does not matter. Plenty of attorneys at minimum do a free consultation and can get you educated as to what needs to happen. Um I do encourage you to look at proper resources if you're educating yourself as a pro se party in some way. Do not listen to AI only. Do not listen to chat GPT only. Let that maybe be a resource, but then go search on websites that are legit, like the superior court's websites of the county where you reside, or if you see superior court forms even from another county, those are likely good resources. Um I have had a lot of consultations recently where the person I'm meeting with tries to tell me I'm wrong because chat GPT said that's not what happens. And if you look, um they're maybe citing another state's law. Or they're maybe citing some kind of federal law as to procedure. Um so don't rely solely on that. Use AI as a tool maybe to guide you, um but do get educated on what your rights are because I've had people come in and it's just too late at that point. There's nothing that Jared and I can do to say, "Well, we want a second bite at the apple. We I changed my mind. I do want to participate now." Um that stuff is non-modifiable. So you need to make sure that you are actively participating if there's a divorce process going on. >> That's right. If you get served, make sure you take that importantly because once you've been served, if you don't get that answer filed, you could suffer adverse consequences. So that's good advice for those those of you that are trying to um delay or stall or stick your head in the sand, don't do it. Now, let's assume that an answer is actually filed. So the person gets served and they file an answer and then they start to refuse to participate in process, Kristen, cuz we see that all the time. >> Yes. >> There's also um consequences for that behavior as well. So, you know, if you're sending out reasonable settlement offers and they're just not responding, um you're serving discovery requests, you're asking them for financial information that's relevant to the case and they're not responding, there are things you can do about that. Uh the court can order them to produce the documents that they aren't producing and incarcerate them in a worst-case scenario if they don't produce the documents, strike their claims for relief, reimburse you for attorney's fees for having to file those motions. Um if they aren't responding to settlement offers and you go to trial one day and the judge ends up ordering something that's very close to what you were offering and trying to work out the entire time, but they've just refused to participate in settlement negotiations, that also is grounds for the judge to award you attorney's fees and have to come to court and have a hearing uh that otherwise may have been unnecessary had that person participated in good faith and meaningfully towards trying to get the case resolved. So, I think the bottom line here is don't think that sticking your head in the sand is going to give you a leg up or give you an advantage. It's not. Frankly, the only way that's going to give you a leg up or an advantage is if the other side is willing to play your game, and we're sitting here telling you don't play that game if you're the other spouse. Stand up for yourself, uh get the case filed, get those deadlines triggered, and if they don't meet the deadlines, they're going to suffer adverse consequences. They're going to have to pay your attorney's fees. They may lose their interest in any claims to the marital estate. They may end up in jail, who knows? But, you're going to be the prevailing party. You're going to have the upper hand. You're going to have control over the process. As always, we appreciate you tuning in. With offices in Suwanee and Athens, we are here to meet all of your family law needs. Don't forget to hit subscribe on that YouTube channel. We'll see you next time.